Friends With Benefits
by petthekat
Summary: How I think the 'Friends with Benefits' conversation should have gone. Part one of a Penny/Sheldon trilogy. Fluffy AND smutty!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Well, basically I think this is how that whole thing should have gone. It might be a one-shot. It might not. Let's see how it goes, shall we? :D

Synopsis: How the whole 'Friends with Benefits' conversation should have gone.

Xxx

"Are you?"

A pause.

"What?"

Dr. Sheldon Cooper shifted his position on Penny's couch and raised a slim brow. "Are you capable of conducting a sexual relationship without forming an emotional attachment?"

Penny stared. How had this conversation even gotten started? Why in the _hell _was she talking to Sheldon - Sheldon Cooper, the same man who claimed to be baffled by human relationships, the man who had tied himself to a bus seat with bungee cord, the man who had _broken into her apartment to clean - _why was she talking to him about friends with benefits?

It was like trying to explain the necessity of a new pair of shoes to your dad when he takes you shopping for school supplies. Borderline painful, nearly impossible. He was simply making one of his many inquiries, but - this seemed a little different.

Penny shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat a little. Admitting that she could be friends with benefits with someone made her sound like a whore, but surely Sheldon wouldn't see it that way. He probably didn't even know what a whore was, exempting all the Twi'leks from Star Wars.

"Well, yeah.. I mean, I've done it before," Penny answered honestly. She tilted her head, blonde hair spilling over one shoulder, bare save for a pink strap. The man across the couch from her looked thoughtful.

"I see," he said in that tone that meant he was completely and totally bewildered. Social situations tended to have that effect on him, Penny noticed dryly.

After a moment of silence, Sheldon straightened and held up an index finger. "What if I were to propose a new element to this - benefits - situation. Would the emotional ratio remain in tact if - say, for example - the friends with benefits were part of a platonic relationship beforehand? That relationship would remain unchanged, correct?"

Penny raised both brows. "Well, yeah."

"Intriguing." Sheldon was quiet, and then, as if he were inquiring whether or not he could borrow a cup of sugar, he asked -

"Would you like to engage in such a relationship?"

Penny started, then stood up rather quickly and poured herself a cup of Diet Pepsi. After a moment's thought, she added half a cup of Vodka and took a long drink. Swishing it around, she finally looked at the man on her couch and said -

"You mean .. with you?"

Sheldon nodded, seeming completely unabashed. It was as if, Penny thought, he had no realization of the physical aspects of what he was asking. But then, as Penny swished her drink and thought, Sheldon wasn't bad looking. Sure, he was skinny, but that wasn't really a bad thing. He had nice eyes, clear skin, and long, nice fingers. Penny liked hands.

She hadn't even realized how long she'd been quiet until Sheldon pointed at his watch and gave a rather loud noise that she assumed was meant to draw her attention.

"Penny, can you hasten to make your decision? Star Trek: The New Generation comes on in an hour."

Penny set down her glass rather loudly. "Excuse me? This isn't the sort of thing you can just - ask and then rush, Sheldon!"

"Why not?"

"Because - Because, it's important."

"I thought it wasn't important. I thought that was the point."

"Well, it is a LITTLE important." Penny rounded her counter and sat on the edge of the couch arm. "I mean, you're - you're my friend, my neighbor, and -"

"And friends with benefits are able to maintain interpersonal relationships while performing sexual intercourse with each other. Correct?"

"Well .. Well, yeah - "

"Penny, are you having trouble because your intellect isn't allowing you to grasp what I'm proposing? Here, I'll break it down for you -" He waved his hands and gestured at her, then himself.

"I am asking you - Penny - to satisfy my and your sexual needs -" Again, gestures, some a little more specific than necessary. " - and in exchange we shall remain friends and neighbors, without the ridiculous complications of a romantic relationship."

A blue-eyed glare. "I understood the first time, Sheldon!"

A pause. "Oh," Sheldon said, frowning a little. "You just seemed confused is all -" "I wasn't confused about the meaning, you dill hole, I was confused about what I should say."

"Oh." Sheldon blinked up at her expectantly. "So?"

Penny glanced at Sheldon one more long moment, then down at her drink. With a little shift in weight on her feet, she threw back the rest of the Vodka and Pepsi and shook her head to clear it.

"Come on, Sheldon."

The tall man stood immediately, straightening his slacks and peering at her. "Where are we going?"

"To the place where all of my life's fuck-ups have begun - the bedroom."

Xxx

Penny had to take three more shots before this even began to look like a good idea, but before she knew it, she and Sheldon were on her bed and - well, damn, it was already awkward. Sheldon had absolutely no idea what to do, and finally, as he fumbled to even take off his _own _clothes, much less hers, Penny sat up on her flower bedspread and blurted out -

"Sheldon, are you a virgin?"

The older man glanced up at her from his Batman belt clasp. It was terribly hard to get undone sometimes, he'd told her, and no one at the Batman Catalogue Company had told him that when he'd ordered it.

A little clearing of his throat. "Well - I suppose it depends on your definition -"

"Have you ever put your penis inside someone?"

Sheldon flushed scarlet at the woman's complete lack of subtlety. "Well - No, I haven't, but -"

"God, Sheldon, how _old _are you?"

The scientist shifted again, raising both brows and folding his arms. He was sitting on his knees on Penny's bed, which didn't seem to suit his first sexual experience at all, what with the pink and blue and flowers and the perfumed pillow cases.

"I'm thirty, thank you very much, and age has nothing to do with sexual intercourse. Unless you're a woman, and then menopause interrupts the sexual cycle sometime between the ages of -"

"Sheldon, don't talk about menopause when you're about to have sex. That's rule one." Penny shook her head. God damn it, she had her work cut out for her. Sheldon gave a brief nod. "And what's the next rule?" He asked, determined to know, because he hated not knowing!

Penny gripped the Batman symbol and yanked him forward by his pants. "The second rule is - shut up and let me do all the work." God knew she had enough experience. With a careful twist of the latch, Penny pulled off Sheldon's belt and let it fall aside.

Sheldon, for once in his life, was silent. Penny almost laughed. She'd never seen him so terrified, so uncertain. Finally a pang of pity hit her, and she leaned forward, drawing his narrow chin into her hands.

"Sheldon.. Sheldon, sweetie, just relax. It's me - Penny. Wouldn't you prefer to do this with me, someone you know, than a total stranger?"

Sheldon's eyes shifted. "Perhaps. Or perhaps not. A total stranger wouldn't be across the hallway every day, quite possibly thinking of new ways to mock me for my failure to perform in coitus."

"How do you know you'll fail? When do you ever fail at anything, Sheldon?," Penny asked as she unsnapped his pants and slipped them down his slim hips. A little roll of her eyes at his tidey-whities. Honestly, she was going to have to buy this kid some boxers if he ever planned on having sex with anyone but her.

"Oh, I've failed at plenty of things, I assure you. Soccer, t-ball, that time I tried to squeeze myself into a half-buried tire on the playground when I was seven -"

"Well, sex isn't like any of those things, Sheldon. So stop worrying." Penny paused, then started to lift Sheldon's shirt - it was one of those with the lightning bolt on it, though Penny couldn't really remember what it stood for - when Sheldon stopped her.

"Wait! I don't want to be the only one naked. I'd feel - like -"

"Like a naked person? Jesus, Sheldon!" Penny reached up to her shirt and tugged it off, tossing it aside. She nearly guffawed at Sheldon's expression at the sudden appearance of her breasts, and instead she fell back against the bed, dragging Sheldon with her. He hovered over her, as if he was afraid to touch her. And really, Penny could understand. Thirty years without sex. What the hell kind of life was that?

Finally, Penny twisted her fingers into Sheldon's underwear and, with a deep breath of her own, tugged them off. For a long moment, she didn't look - down - but instead met Sheldon's gaze. After several moments, Penny allowed her hand - and her eyes - to travel down to Sheldon's groin, and her fingers closed around his length.

"Wow -" She said out loud, trying to remember the last time she was so surprised. Well, Sheldon _was _six feet tall. It would have been the weirdest thing ever if he had a little tiny penis. Sheldon didn't seem to take any pride in her response, though. The crazy guy probably had no idea of the whole - my penis is bigger than your penis - dispute. Besides, his mind was on other things, if his shocked and completely lust-filled expression was any indication. He was obviously going to have some trouble lasting long, or at least, Penny figured. Just her touching him made his lips part and his fingers tighten on the sheets around her shoulders, and Penny found such a strange sense of pleasure in touching someone who had never, ever been touched there before. Curling her fingers around his length, she moved her hand back up to the base and then down again. Sheldon's breath caught in his chest and he leaned his head forward a little. She could practically feel his entire exhale and inhale, over and over, and when she cupped his balls - Well, forget about it. He positively shuddered.

"Sheldon.." Penny murmured, trying to remind him that it was - her - and not some stranger, this was someone he could trust, and then she reached up a hand and pressed him over and onto his back on the bed. Her bra came off and so did her skirt, sliding it off her hips and letting it fall crumpled to the floor. Sheldon didn't even notice. Weirdo neat freak.

Even so, all of that was falling to the side now. This was the first time Penny had looked at Sheldon like a - well, like a man. And he was, sitting there, chest pressing up and down with breaths he was fighting to control because even he seemed to understand how sensitive he was to her touch, and he didn't want her to know it. Sheldon hated not being in control.

Hands, fingers spread, moved up Sheldon's bare chest and pressed over the hairs there. Funny, but Penny had touched here before. For entirely different reasons, of course.

Now, though, the brush over Sheldon's nipples was purposeful and distinct, and Sheldon inhaled appreciatively as Penny leaned forward fully and pressed her soft, bare breasts to Sheldon's harder chest.

A kiss? No.. Penny decided that was far too intimate. This wasn't making love. This was sex, plain and simple slowed down for Sheldon's - What was the phrase he'd used?

Lack of intellect on the matter.

For once, Penny was the teacher and Sheldon was the eager, frightened student. Penny moved down Sheldon's body, and though she didn't kiss his lips, she had no problem suckling on the skin of his neck and down his chest and stomach. The inside of his thighs was particularly sensitive, and she chose to let her lips trace the veins she found there. A pause, and then she took the tip of Sheldon's penis into her mouth. "Oh - Good - Lord, Penny -"

Penny almost smirked. Good Lord indeed, she thought, taking more of him into her mouth. Driving him crazy, seeing him so unbalanced, this was almost worth how awkward Sheldon would undoubtedly make this at some point in the very near future.

Pulling him in and out of her mouth, she curled her fingers in Sheldon's hips to try and keep him from lurching too far into her mouth and choking her. Despite ample evidence to the contrary, Penny _did _have a gag reflex.

"Pen - Penny .. " Sheldon's fingers found her blonde hair and curled there, and this only made Penny suck harder, pulling more and more of him into her mouth until she was nearly at the base. She felt his muscles spasm and lock up, then his fingers curl into her scalp, more and more and more until -

She let go.

Really, she thought Sheldon might cry. He whimpered, in fact, when Penny kept him from his climax. The Nebraska native gave him a wolfish grin. "Sheldon, honey, you look a little flushed."

The scientist gave her a glare. "You are a - demon, woman!"

"Yeah, yeah, so they keep telling me." Penny grinned and grabbed his length again, pulling her hand up and down it until she pulled Sheldon's own hands to her underwear. After a moment of incomprehension that looked completely out of place on Dr. Sheldon Cooper, the man tugged down her underwear and breathed in shakily. "Just relax.. I'll do all the work. You just have to lay there, okay?"

Sheldon nodded vaguely, but there was no way he could be prepared for what happened next. His erect member was standing positively straight, ready and attentive, when Penny shifted her hips and then lowered herself onto it.

He nearly came right then.

"Oh - my - _God - Holy .. _Shit," Penny said, pushing herself down as far as she could manage. Similar words, even a few curses, came from Sheldon and Penny was nearly thrown over by surprise when Sheldon lurched up quite suddenly, filling the last two inches of Penny completely inside. Their moans could probably be heard down the hallway.

Sorry, Leonard.

"Oh my God, Sheldon!" Penny pushed against him and the two of them pressed together in perfect sync. It was the oddest thing, something Penny would think upon later. Grinding against one another's hips, the two pressed into a rhythm that fell perfectly into place.

Penny couldn't even hear the creak of the bed over their moans. Thank God she didn't have a roommate.

Unfortunately, Sheldon was able to do this for all of about two minutes. Too much stimuli mixed with not nearly enough experience wasn't enough to keep him going, but it didn't really seem to matter, because he had hardly begun to climax when Penny did the same.

Holy shit, how embarrassing, Penny thought. She'd never orgasmed that quickly. But Sheldon didn't seem to mind, or notice that it was terribly short, because he was filling her and Penny thought - Well, shit, good thing I'm on the pill, because I forgot all about condoms.

Penny rolled off Sheldon, feeling her groin tingling still from the sensation. The two of them lied side by side, panting and not talking, for nearly ten minutes.

Finally, Sheldon said -

"Penny, if I go back to the apartment now, Leonard will inquire to where I have been."

"So don't go.. Sleep here."

Sheldon seemed to consider this, and then -

"But I didn't bring any pajamas."

Penny's laughter rolled through the apartment where moans had echoed just moments before.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Two reviews! Awesomeeeeee. :D I worried that the BBT fandom wouldn't even notice a new fic, but seriously, one good review is better than a thousand stupid ones. And you guys are absolutely right, Leonard WAS in Vegas. I totally forgot! I'll change it eventually. And now, for chapter two!

Synopsis: A continuation of Penny and Sheldon's agreement on 'Friends with Benefits.'

Xxx

If Penny had been worried anything between her and Sheldon would change after that fateful night, she really needn't have worried. Sheldon Cooper was nothing if not honest, and when he said he planned to have no emotional attachment to Penny, he meant it.

In fact, it had been over a week since their last encounter, and Sheldon Cooper had hardly seen Penny at all. This was mostly because he'd started on a new experiment at work and it was completely befuddling him, which meant he was quickly growing more and more obsessed. Sheldon was always more interested in things that he could learn than things he already knew. Such was the pain of being a genius.

"Sheldon? Sheldon!"

The taller of the two roommates narrowed his eyes over his shoulder and straightened, one hand tightening on the dry erase marker in his hand.

"Leonard, while I realize that your work hardly requires any surmountable bit of concentration to grasp, _my _work needs quite a lot of attention. Attention that you keep ripping to shreds like that bobcat in my grandmother's back yard."

The shorter scientist made a face. "Your grandmother owned a bobcat?"

Sheldon raised a brow. "Don't be silly. It lived in the woods and ate all the neighborhood dogs." A pause. "Pity I never went through with that animal cloning process. I really missed Albert." Shrugging, he turned back to his board. Leonard's thick brows bunched in confusion, before he simply shook his head and picked up his bag.

"Well, what I was trying to ask you before you - pretty much just destroyed my childhood - was if you wanted to go to the comic book store."

Sheldon straightened again and pursed his lips. Oh, it was so, so tempting. But then - this - and -

"I'm afraid I will have to forgo it this time, Leonard. While I realize the trip won't be the same without me there -"

Leonard scoffed.

" - I must remain true and responsible to my science. I'm very close to a breakthrough on -"

"Yeah, I figured, okay, bye!" Leonard snatched his keys out of the bowl and was out of the door before Sheldon could even turn back to his board. Making a face, the scientist turned back to his board. No sooner had he started to work again, however, than a knock came at the door. Scowling, Sheldon set down his marker and opened the door to see Penny standing, hair in a high ponytail and one of her countless pink tank tops on her torso.

"Hey Sheldon! So, uh - Is Leonard here?"

Sheldon raised a brow. "No, he went to the comic book store."

"Without you?"

"I chose science." He gestured to his board.

"Ahh, gotcha. Well, I was just going to tell him I set him up with one of my friends from work. She's really cute, I think he'll like her." Without being asked, Penny stepped inside and Sheldon shut the door, looking annoyed.

"As fascinating as that is, Penny, I see no reason why you should do such a thing. First off, Leonard has an eighty five percent probability of failing fantastically with members of the opposite sex, and second off, I thought you still had feelings for him."

Penny opened her mouth, but Sheldon held up a hand.

"That wasn't an invitation to tell me how you feel."

Penny rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She had sucked this guy's dick and nothing had changed. He was better at being a man than she thought.

"I was just going to _say, _whack-a-doodle, that I don't have feelings for Leonard anymore and I even have a guy friend coming so we can double date!" She flopped down onto the couch, just to the left of Sheldon's spot, and the man returned to his board.

"Double date," he muttered, scanning the equations. "I assumed that took away from the privacy premise dates were expected to be composed of."

Penny shrugged. "Sometimes a first meeting is a little less awkward with someone else along."

Sheldon glanced over his shoulder. "Not for Leonard, I would assume. I accompanied him to meet LovesHorses84 from E-Harmony and I assure you it could not have been more awkward than what I witnessed."

Penny's brows furrowed. "Wow, that does sound pretty terrible."

"She had a parasitic twin coming out of her abdomen." Sheldon turned to face her. "It was horrific."

Penny gave a low whistle, which made Sheldon twitch and return to his board. The blonde leaned over, examining his board, as if any of it made sense to her. Might as well be Mandarin. But then, he would understand THAT too, the freaking genius.

"So, Sheldon, now that you've got some experience under your belt -" A little grin at the euphemism " - are you going to try and date now?"

Sheldon scoffed but didn't look away from his board. "I hardly think so. The entire idea was to gain sexual gratification without complicating things with a social construct. An obligation to see another human every day sounds like the worst circle of hell in my opinion," he said dryly, making a note on his board. Penny rolled her eyes.

"What if it was Spock?"

"Spock is half-human and half-Vulcan, therefore he does not count."

Again, an eye roll. "Whatever. I'm gonna go get ready for work." She rose and Sheldon paused, then turned to face her.

"Penny?"

The woman stopped and glanced back. "Yeah?"

Sheldon shifted a little and cleared his throat some. "While I realize that we never discussed the frequency with which we would operate our - agreement - I was - perhaps.. Wondering if -"

Penny smirked a little. "Do you wanna come over tonight, Sheldon?"

The older man shifted a little again. "Perhaps. If I get done with my work."

Penny nodded, grinning a little. "I'll get off work at eight, honey. Just come by if you want." And then she was gone. Sheldon turned back to his board and stared at his work.

Very productive day, he congratulated himself. Productive day, indeed.

Xxx

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Pen - Oh, hello."

Sheldon peered at the disgruntled looking woman. He raised a brow, but stepped inside when she gestured. A pause, as if searching his mind for the proper social etiquette. Then -

"How was work?"

"Terrible!" Penny threw up her arms and shut the door a little harder than necessary. She flopped onto her own couch in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, and Sheldon hesitated by the door before sitting in his spot. He had to move her legs a little, which he did, completely unabashed.

"Why? Because you get paid a wage equivalent to that of Puerto Rican children in factories?" He wasn't being sarcastic. Penny made $2.13 an hour as a waitress.

The blonde cut her eyes at him. "Well, that wouldn't be so bad if there weren't always these - tables of idiots! I mean, seriously, who orders a burger medium well and then gets pissed off when it comes out - _medium well?_ And then my manager said it was MY fault for not explaining it to them! If I have to explain every damn thing these idiots order when they order it, I'll take the whole damn day! God!"

Penny pulled a pillow over her face and pressed it there. Sheldon paused, then reached over and tugged off the pillow.

"Asphyxiation, I assume, would solve nothing." He placed the pillow neatly in the corner of her couch and Penny made a face. "Just - God, I hate my life sometimes." Penny put her hands on her face and Sheldon shifted, then patted her shoulder.

"There, there."

Penny took a deep breath and peered from between her fingers. "Sheldon, I don't - I don't know if I feel like doing anything tonight.. I just - had a horrible -"

"Okay." Blue eyes blinked plaintively at her.

Penny started. Lifting her head, she scrunched her brows. "Okay? Really?"

Sheldon nodded, looking surprised at _her _surprise. "Well, yes. What else would you expect me to say?"

Penny straightened. "You're not gonna - try to convince me? Try to seduce me?" Sheldon's expression was laughable.

"Penny, think - dare I ask - of what you are saying. Do I look like the type of person who would be able to seduce anyone? Penny, if Jabba the Hut was prepared to take on male sex slaves, even then would I not be able to seduce anyone in the room."

Penny's lips twisted into a grin. He was completely serious.

"Okay.. I mean - Wow, okay. I can't believe that. I don't think I've ever denied a guy sex and not have them - pretty much beg me." She raised both brows. "Wow, this is weird." A pause. "I kind of want to do it now."

Sheldon blinked. "But you just said -"

But there was no time to finish the sentence, because Penny had jumped into his lap and spread her skirt covered legs over Sheldon's hips. And this time, she did kiss him.

It was odd - it wasn't pre-planned or even that romantic, it was just .. Happy, grateful. Content, but times a million. Sheldon was positively stone at first, unsure of what to do. Finally, with a little prompting from Penny, he moved his lips some and managed to relax his body, even if it was bent oddly over the couch arm because Penny was practically on top of him and he was about two feet too long for her little green-blue couch.

Fingers, long and thin and still stained with ink from his markers, found Penny's waist and curled in the yellow fabric there. Penny pressed her lips against Sheldon's, her own hands at his chin and she felt a bit of stubble from his day of frantic work. He probably had to learn how to shave some time around his graduation from grad school.

Pulling her lips away for the barest of moments, Penny looked at Sheldon and gave a smile.

"Thanks Sheldon," she murmured, and before he could even respond, she kissed him again and reached up, pulling out her ponytail and letting her hair fall freely around her shoulders. Sheldon closed his eyes again slowly and slipped further down onto the couch. His knees, bracketed high because of the length of the couch, closed Penny in on the small area of his torso. It pulled them closer together and really, he didn't mind.

Hands perusing his chin and then down his neck, Penny found the collar of his Superman shirt and slipped it up over his head, letting it fall onto the back of the couch. Sheldon, eyes now open, surprised her by pulling her back down into the kiss immediately. He missed it, he realized, the warmth of all this. It was comforting, not at all as anxious as he had thought. And Penny was right. It was better this way, than with some stranger.

Moving her hands over his chest, Penny leaned down her head, pulling away from the kiss and licking at a nipple instead. Sheldon inhaled deeply, fingers finally finding the fasten of her cheesecake factory uniform and undoing it. It slipped right back off her shoulders in such a marvelous way that he paused for a moment just to watch his handiwork.

Penny smiled a little and tilted her head. "Sheldon?"

The older man snapped out of his reverie. "Sorry.." He murmured, pulling it off completely, and Penny had to move off of him to get it completely off. When it fell to the floor, Sheldon surprised her again by moving her under _him, _even though once he did, he really seemed unsure of what to do. So he looked at Penny, and she pulled him down on her again, their chests meeting and God, Sheldon was so pale, Penny thought with a little grin. She found a freckle just below his collarbone and traced it with her fingers, moving the digit down to his navel and sweeping it there. Her hand found his pants and both went to unfasten it. As she did so, Sheldon slipped off her bra with a little bit of difficulty and let it fall to the side too, taking that moment to cup her breast and simply examine it.

"Sheldon, seriously, I'm beginning to feel like a - photon laser or whatever you guys are always looking at. Why in the world do you keep staring at me?"

Sheldon glanced up at her in surprise and slipped an elbow on the couch next to her body so that he could lower himself more completely against her. He didn't let go of her breast, but something was oddly chaste about it, even when he swept his thumb over her nipple.

"I don't know," he admitted in something that sounded like awe. "I've simply never gotten to examine a woman's body so close. Or - at all, really. Generally, I think human bodies are cesspools of disease and epithelial cells prone to shedding on my furniture.. But there is a certain aesthetic beauty to them. Especially yours."

Penny raised both brows. "Really?" He'd said it as if stating a matter of fact, instead of what was so obviously his biased opinion. But maybe he really didn't see it like that. Sheldon never seemed to be able to distinguish between the two.

She reached up and curled her hand over his, making her own examinations. Hands sliding up over his, up on his arm and onto his shoulder and then his chest, Penny made her own explorations. She'd seen the male form plenty of times, up close and personal, but this was Sheldon. Really, it was like looking at something totally different, even if, anatomically, Sheldon was no different than any other man.

Penny moved her hand to his pants and slipped them off fully, before continuing her own slow explorations. Sheldon dropped his hand down her smooth stomach and found a scar he hadn't noticed before, a thin, white one just above her hip. He brushed his hand over it.

"Where did you acquire this?"

Penny glanced down and smiled a little, leaning back her head. This was so .. Oddly comfortable.

"Oh, that's old. I was climbing a tree once when I was a little kid and I fell out. Landed right on this super sharp rock. It hurt like hell," she admitted, eyes returning to Sheldon's body and its perusal. Sheldon said nothing, simply moved his hand over the scar and then on, finding Penny's underwear to be the last remaining barrier, which he removed with little to no hesitation. This area, this he remembered quite well. Looking back up at her, their eyes met once more, and without asking, they pressed together again and Penny caught Sheldon in a deep kiss that took him several moments to get used to.

When he pressed inside of her, she stole a breath from his mouth.

Xxx

"So basically, what you're saying is that you're ditching me."

Penny gave her couch pillow an angry little punch as she sat cross-legged there the following Saturday night. She was on the phone with the asshole she was supposed to be Leonard's double-date with, but of course, he was bailing. Douchebag.

"It's a Metric concert! Come on, how can I miss that?"

"Easy! Buy the DVD like normal people and do what you promised. Come on, this is really important to my friend!"

"Well, just go without me. Or find someone else. I've gotta go, later Penny."

The blonde turned off her cell phone and tossed it angrily onto the couch. Sliding off the blue-green furniture, she moved to her door and jaunted across the hallway, knocking once before walking in. Leonard glanced up from his computer and Sheldon was in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of milk.

"Hello Penny," they chorused, and Penny smiled a little before frowning again. Falling into her chair, she made a face at Leonard.

"Okay, so I've got some bad news. I can't double-date with you tonight. Greg bailed on me."

Leonard looked up, obviously alarmed. "But - then I can't -"

"Just go without me! You'll be fine, seriously. She's not an intimidating girl," Penny promised, crossing her legs in the chair. Leonard made a whining noise. "You know how nervous I get. Can't you just come without Greg?"

"And be the third wheel? No thank you. That would be weird, Leonard. Weirder than just the two of you going, I promise." Leonard pursed his lips, then glanced up at Sheldon, who was quickly examining the boxes of Nutrigrain bars they had left on top of the fridge.

"Ask Sheldon to go! Then you won't be the third wheel."

Sheldon and Penny glanced at each other and looked away in perfect unison. "I - don't think so, Leonard. That might be kinda weird. Besides, Sheldon probably doesn't want to go -"

"I don't."

"See?"

Leonard raised a brow. "Oh, come on. You two have been getting along really well lately -"

Penny coughed.

" - so why not? Please, guys. For me. I'm freaked out. I might have a panic attack."

"So take your inhaler," Sheldon said flatly, moving around the island bar. Penny nodded in agreement and Leonard sighed, weighing his options.

"Okay, here's the deal. If the two of you go.. Penny, I'll rig you free cable for a month. And Sheldon -" He winced at this, but went on anyway, " - my programmable Batman Clock is yours."

And that was all he needed to say.

Xxx

"This is ridiculous," Sheldon muttered, straightening his sports jacket that was God awful and made Penny seriously want to burn it. Maybe with Sheldon still wearing it, if he didn't stop complaining.

"Come on, Sheldon. It's for Leonard."

"No, it's for a limited edition Bat-clock. Leonard can go to hell right now for all I care." The two of them moved out of the apartment complex while Leonard pulled his car around to the front. It was pretty chilly out, so Penny was wearing a long black pea coat over her dress. She was trying not to upstage her friend, so she'd kept it simple. It was hard for Penny not to upstage people, though. It just was.

They climbed into the car and shortly after, picked up Penny's friend, a curly-haired girl named Lydia. She climbed shyly into the passenger seat, which Sheldon had scowled at not being able to take. Leonard was doing pretty well for about the first five minutes, but then he started muttering everything he said, and Penny and Sheldon glanced at each other with similar looks of - Good Lord, this is going to be bad.

The restaurant was a nice one, and the four of them sat at a lovely little table with a white tablecloth and candles that Sheldon informed all of them were Italian in style but likely to be cheap knockoffs made by foreign children somewhere south of Monaco. When they were seated, Penny slipped off her coat, and the other three looked at her, all with some bit of awe. It was a simple black dress, with crossed straps over her collarbone that went behind her neck. Penny shifted a little and smiled, as if she had no idea how pretty she was, before she sat down again next to Sheldon and began looking at the menu.

Leonard was making some sort of ill-fated attempt to talk to Lydia, but she was distracted by Penny and Sheldon, who were muttering quietly to each other. Finally, she said rather loudly - perhaps a little too loudly because, God, here she was on this date and Penny was making it all about her, as usual. Penny the beautiful blonde actress with the magnificent body and perfect teeth, finally she said -

"So how long have you two been dating?"


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I'm incredibly happy to write this for people who want to read it. And to the anon who commented, I apologize if I insulted you. I'm aware of the status of Puerto Rico and I was only making a joke for comic effect. I am glad that you're enjoying the story despite that, though, and I thank you for your review.

Also, the song Sheldon plays is by Kyle Robertson and is called "In the Night." Check it out and listen while you read! 

Xxx

Sheldon and Penny exchanged mutual glances of horror.

"Dating?" Penny asked, or rather, shrieked. "Yeah right. We're just friends."

"Barely even that," Sheldon added, with an enthusiastic nod from Penny. Lydia glanced between the two of them and then at Leonard, who sighed and shrugged his shoulders. The curly-haired girl gave a weird sort of grimace, and finally, she put her napkin on her empty plate.

"Leonard, can we go somewhere else? I just - don't think it would be a good idea to stay."

"Wait, what?" Leonard stood as she did, and both Penny and Sheldon watched, looking confused. "Wait, what did I do?" Penny asked, and it was clear, at least to Lydia, so the question was just plain obstinate. Stealing the limelight, like Penny always did. It happened at work, too.

"But..," Leonard protested weakly. The girl gave Leonard a rather impressive pout. "Oh, come on.. I want to go out with you. Just the two of us.." She touched his hand, and that was all it took.

"Leonard!" Penny and Sheldon chorused as the man hurried out of the restaurant, muttering some sort of hasty apology that amounted to nothing. Penny scowled, falling back ungracefully into her chair. "See if I ever try to hook up my co-workers again! Jesus."

"In all honesty, Penny, she's reacting quite well for social splendor you granted her with. A blind date with Leonard is not exactly praiseworthy."

"Oh, Sheldon."

The blonde straightened and grabbed her purse. "Well, come on." Sheldon started. "Where are we going?" Penny raised a brow.

"Home," she said. "The date's over! Why would we stay?"

"Because I already know what I want."

"So get something else on the way home."

"But I already picked out something here! Now I've begun to look forward to it, to visualize it on my plate. I can't just leave!"

Penny stared. "Really, Sheldon? And what did you want to order?"

A pause. "A hamburger."

Penny hit her face with her hand. "Really, Sheldon? You can order that anywhere!"

"But I'm already here. It won't be the same somewhere else."

The waiter appeared at the table and Penny stared up at him before falling back into her seat once more. She waved a hand at Sheldon.

"Order your burger. Whack-a-doodle."

Xxx

Dinner was.. Surprisingly pleasant. Penny ended up ordering a chicken parmesan pasta and it was really quite delicious. And of course, Sheldon enjoyed his hamburger, once he'd gotten all the right condiments dispersed at exactly at the right quantity.

The two left the restaurant and while they waited for the taxi - since Leonard had up and left them - they sat on the bench outside and people watched. Sheldon, with all his infinite knowledge, was really quite good at it.

"You see those people there? They're speaking Russian, but their dialect indicates that they aren't native speakers. I don't know language as well as Wolowitz, which is perhaps the only thing he knows more than me about, but from what I understand, they're attempting to impress that woman standing near them."

"Really?" Penny raised both brows in surprise. "You really got all that just from hearing bits and pieces of what they're saying?"

"Well, yes. Didn't you?"

"Not really. I just see two hairy guys waving their arms and talking in gibberish."

"Well, there's that, too."

The taxi pulled up and Sheldon grumbled about the unsanitary conditions of the cab, which really wasn't all that bad. The man in the front looked back at them in the mirror and eyed Penny in her dress. She shifted uncomfortably and grabbed Sheldon's hand.

"Hey, what in Babylon 5 do you think you're doing? Let go -"

"Ha, that's funny, sweetie!" Penny said rather loudly, and the man grunted and turned back to face the road as they pulled out. Penny relaxed a little and let go of Sheldon's hand, and the scientist made an annoyed face that didn't dissipate until they finally got back to the apartment. Sliding out of the taxi, Penny paid the man and immediately pulled out germ-x. Without a word, she pressed a few drops into her palm and then into Sheldon's, and the two simultaneously rubbed their hands together as they stepped inside.

On the way upstairs, they didn't say much, so when they reached their floor, Penny spoke.

"So.. What're you about to do, Sheldon?"

Sheldon paused, then quirked a brow at her, like her question was undoubtedly stupid. "It's Saturday. Saturday is Halo night." Penny quirked a brow to mimic him.

"And how exactly are you going to have Halo night by yourself? Howard and Raj are at Howard's grandmother's, you know. And Leonard's on a date."

Sheldon paused, his key halfway in the door. He hadn't thought of that. Halo night. He could play by himself, but then he would have only pitiful computer minds to dominate, instead of pitiful human minds. He pursed his lips.

"I can watch Star Trek."

Penny gave a slow nod. "Right." Star Trek. Of course. Why hadn't she thought of that? Duh. Star Trek. On a Saturday night.

God, this was getting pathetic.

She moved to open her door when Sheldon said her name. Turning to face him, she saw him shift there, his door half-open. "Penny, would you like to watch Star Trek with me?"

Penny looked surprised. "Really? You want me to watch with you?"

"Well, if there's no one there, I have no one's mind to expand with all the data I will undoubtedly be able to verbalize about what I'm watching."

Penny rolled her eyes. "You want me over so you can talk? Really, Sheldon?"

A pause. Then - "Yes."

And she must have been going crazy, because she stared for only a moment before saying -

"Okay, Sheldon."

And she did.

Xxx

"So basically Uhura was just a glorified secretary."

"It was the sixties, Penny. What else would she be doing?"

"I thought that was when the feminists emerged. You know, women kicking ass and taking names! Fighting for the right - to - party, or something."

"The feminist movement originated sometime in the late 19th and early 20th century, Penny. Did you know that the second wave - the one, I believe, to which you are referring - was spurned by the book by Betty Friedan, called The Feminine Mystique -"

"Sheldon, it's back on! Shut up."

Sheldon looked startled, but Penny was completely and totally glued to the television. By ten p.m., they'd watched three straight episodes and were now on their respective couches - Sheldon in his spot and Penny on the center couch, laying down with a pillow tucked on her head - and a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. The television was the only light in the room, despite Sheldon's protests that such an environment was positively corrosive to the iris.

"You know, Spock just does whatever Kirk tells him."

"Of course he does," Sheldon said indignantly. "Kirk is the Captain!"

"But like, Kirk could say -," and here she affected a gruff man's voice, " - 'I'm going to the lavatory. Mr. Spock?' and then Spock would totally go with him."

A pause. And then -

"Why would a Captain require assistance in the lavatory?"

Xxx

By the time the third episode ended, and Sheldon had begun giving more useless facts about the episode that only tv guide should know, Penny had fallen asleep. Pausing, then peering over, he spotted Penny asleep and raised a brow. How long had she been asleep? Hell, now he had to make a decision no doubt regulated by a social custom he knew nothing about.

Let's see, Sheldon thought. There are three options here. I can shake her violently to awaken her and then ask her to leave, I can leave her on the couch and hope she awakens on her own, or I can carry her to a proper sleeping place and leave her there.

Well, the last option was out. Sheldon did actually stand up and sort of make an attempt to pick Penny up. First he bent next to the couch, then he sort of jumped around and tried for a better angle, and then he actually slipped his arms underneath her and realized he really wouldn't be able to lift her unless he was going to become exposed to gamma radiation halfway through.

Okay, so that was out.

He could wake her up. Sheldon's last memory of a recently awoken Penny flooded his mind, and he paled a little. Okay, that was out, too.

Well then. That just left option number two.

Penny shifted a little on the couch and rolled onto her stomach, her hair splayed across the couch pillow. Sheldon paused, watching her for a long moment. He glanced at the end of the couch and spotted one of their afghans, one his grandmother had made him. Picking it up, he opened it and let it fall comfortable over Penny, just up to her shoulder.

Then he adjusted her pillow, stood, and - after one more glance - went to his room to sleep.

Xxx

The next two weeks were a blur for Penny AND Sheldon. Sheldon started working more once again and Penny went home to visit Nebraska for a week. When she came back, she couldn't believe how glad she was to be back. This place felt like her home. Especially when she got to the fourth floor and she heard the God-awful wail that she knew could only belong to one Indian man.

Opening the door to their apartment, Penny watched with amusement as the four men staggered around the living room, jamming out on Rock Band and positively butchering some Aerosmith song.

They didn't even notice her until Raj tripped over one of the drums and Howard shrieked about messing up the beat.

All four men spotted her at the same time and Raj jumped up, making a little 'eep' sound. "Penny!" Leonard said, giving a wayward smile. "You're back! How was Nebraska?"

"Oh, you know. Diners. Corn. The same old thing." She grinned and spotted Sheldon, who looked down and away from her, holding onto his guitar strap. It was exactly like he'd done with his bag when they'd first met. An almost painful shyness he'd never admit to.

"Well, I'm exhausted and I have to unpack, but I just wanted to let you guys know I was home," Penny said, and the others nodded and bade good-bye to her before she disappeared again. Howard watched her in awe as she went to her apartment, then shook his head.

"That is one fine piece'a woman."

"I agree," Raj said in his thick, rolling tongue. "Missed having her to look at."

Sheldon pulled off his guitar with a little more ferocity than necessary. "The two of you are absolutely useless. No wonder neither of you can ever complete anything worth while. You're constantly fawning over Penny."

Raj rolled his eyes. "If you were a normal man, you'd be fawning over her too!"

"Yeah, like Sheldon's ever gonna have to worry about that," Howard joked, and he and the Indian man exchanged giggles, much to Sheldon's annoyance. "He's never gonna have a woman distract him from work."

"Alright, guys, leave him alone -"

"Thank you, Leonard -"

"He might have a man distract him instead." Leonard grinned and the other two guffawed, making Sheldon's face turn red. "Oh, of all the immature - ridiculous - testosterone fueled - Oh, forget it!"

Sheldon marched out of the apartment, still red, while the others laughed rather rudely at him. Knocking ferociously on Penny's door, he stepped in without even waiting for her to open it. She was in her room and was just stepping out when Sheldon appeared.

Much to her shock, he walked right up to her and kissed her. It was quick and hardly romantic, but still, it was - rather strangely exhilarating.

"What - Sheldon, what is THAT all about?" She asked, peering around him to make sure Leonard and the others hadn't followed him. They hadn't, the door was shut. Sheldon swallowed and shifted, looking a little ashamed now.

"The others were making fun of me. They said I would never find a woman to distract me. And then they implied I was a homosexual."

He was nearly pouting. Penny tried not to laugh, knowing that would only make it worse. "Aw, sweetie.. I know you're not a homosexual. Even if you are really, really weirdly clean." She grinned a little and Sheldon dead-panned, turning to leave. Penny grabbed his arm.

"Oh, come on! I was just kidding. Stay here if the guys are making you feel bad. I'm just unpacking."

Sheldon glanced around. She had countless shirts and bras thrown all over her couch. He scoffed. Sure, if unpacking was a synonym for throwing the Earth off kilter with a large pile of clothes. "Penny," he said as he glanced around. "Your packing and unpacking skills make me dizzy."

Penny made a face, but Sheldon insisted, and forty-three minutes later he had her entire apartment in order again. By this time, she'd sprawled out on her couch and was watching t.v. She'd offered to help, but Sheldon had mumbled something incoherent and waved her away. When he was finally done, Penny had gone through three Diet Cokes and an apple.

"Done yet?" She asked through a mouth full of crunchy, juicy goodness.

Sheldon looked quite satisfied with himself. "Yes. Your apartment is fit for human habitation once more." Penny rolled her eyes and straightened. "Whoopee," she said unenthusiastically, straightening and throwing away the rest of her apple. Sheldon made a face at her sarcasm but chose to ignore it. Penny had recently become rather obsessed with Star Trek, funnily enough, and was watching it on her computer when Sheldon finally found a place he deemed suitable for sitting.

"Sheldon, why does Spock have a harp?"

"It's not a harp! It's a - Vulcan musical instrument."

"It's a harp! A Vulcan harp. I can't believe he HAS that. I mean, he's Spock! And he's playing a harp!"

"There's nothing unmanly about a harp."

"Sure there is. It's a harp."

"And what," Sheldon asked, looking as though he did not even want to know the answer, "would you deem a manly instrument? A guitar?" He rolled his eyes. He had seen them, those freshmen students on the lawn, barefoot, playing guitar and singing overly loud so as to attract the women. Ridiculous.

"Or perhaps drums, which I might remind you, Howard Wolowitz thinks is going to win him a no doubt unsuccessful date with a woman?"

"I don't know! I mean.. In all honesty, I don't think any of those things are sexy or manly. The thing I like most is.." Penny paused, then shifted a little. "The piano."

Sheldon stared. "The piano? I was given to understand that such an instrument was considered - sissy."

Penny grinned. "Why would you think that?" Sheldon didn't share her amusement. "Well, if the round of beatings I sustained during grade school were any indication, then those would have to be my supporting evidence." Penny winced.

"Wow. Wait - So that means you play?"

Sheldon shifted a little uncomfortably. "Well, yes. I played that night at your work, remember?" He scowled a little. "The night you made me a rather whorish Virgin Rum and Coke?" A snicker as Penny nodded. "Oh, yeah. I just figured that was - drunken talent, though. You can really play?"

"I could, when I was younger. I haven't practiced for quite a long time."

"Play me something!" Penny said excitedly, clapping her hands. Sheldon slowly, sarcastically, cast his glance around her apartment.

"That would require a piano," he said, and really he should have just added it - Dumbass.

Penny rolled her eyes and jumped up, re-emerging from her room a few minutes later with a keyboard. "Here, use this! My dad got it for me last Christmas, but really, all I know are those awful songs from church when I was a kid."

Sheldon raised a brow at her, as if to ask if she was serious, and then sighed softly. Taking the keyboard into his lap, he messed with it for a moment. Then, after just a moment's hesitation, his fingers rolled over the white and black keys in a soft, languid piece that picked up in speed for a moment before slowing once more.

Sheldon didn't lift his eyes, though it didn't really seem as if he needed to look down at the keyboard. It only sounded a little different using this device, and he could remember it clearly from so many years ago. One of the perks of being a genius, one might think.

Penny leaned back against the arm of her small couch as she watched Sheldon's hands move gracefully over the keys. He didn't speak or lift his gaze, but even if he had, she might not have noticed. Her eyes felt glazed over as the song took hold of her thoughts, and she even closed his eyes to let the music roll over her. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so effected by a single bit of music, but here she was, unable to think of anything else.

She felt her phone buzz, and her heart tore that she had to pull away from her mental sanctuary to look at it. It was a text from Greg, asking if she wanted to come over. Penny paused, then flipped the phone shut and shoved it into the couch cushion.

No, she decided. She was perfectly content to sit here.. And listen to Sheldon play.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I'm so excited for these reviews! They are super awesome and I'm so happy to get one. :D Also, a Penny/Sheldon community sounds great! I don't get on LJ much, but feel free to post a link to this story if you want. I'd have no problem at all with that.

On to the next!

Xxx

How Leonard could not notice Sheldon's situation was baffling to the older, taller scientist. Then again, Sheldon did go to rather impressive, ninja-like techniques to make sure the other man didn't notice he was gone. For instance, he would brush his teeth, put on his pajamas, and climb into his bed every single night, just as usual.

Except, usually around ten, he would get up and sneak quietly out of the apartment and go to Penny's. It was just across the hall, and Leonard could never hear anything over his own snoring, so it was really quite simple. And when he would go over there during the day, he would simply claim a trip to the convenient or comic book store was necessary, and that he would simply take the bus. Leonard never seemed to mind, especially lately, since he was pretty tied up with that girl Penny had set him up with.

They deserved each other, Sheldon thought rather rudely.

Further more, Sheldon had been careful not to change his disposition towards Penny in front of the others. Just the other day, not two hours before he was supposed to meet her for coitus, he had called her intelligence "less than elementary," to which she had asked - "What, you mean, like pre-school?" and Sheldon had honestly thought his point had been proven.

But this was the third time this week alone that he'd ventured to her apartment, and it was - What day? Wednesday?

This was getting ridiculous. And last time he'd come over, they had not even _had _sex. Penny had started her period, and as Sheldon shifted unpleasantly from one foot to the other, wondering what to do because certainly menstrual blood was not conducive to a sexually stimulating activity, Penny had pulled him down onto her bed and, after apologizing for the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, had spent the next two hours looking up cosplay ideas on the internet.

"See, Wonder Woman is so overdone. I want to be - Starfire, from Teen Titans!"

"Ooh, good choice. You know, aside from The Flash, Robin is perhaps one of my favorite DC comic book characters. Though particularly I like him best as Nightwing, which is his darker counter-self in one of the alternate universes of the comic book world -"

"Ooh, and I could go with the cartoon version and wear a little purple skirt and a tube top. How cute!"

And so it had gone.

Xxx

And then one day something had shifted. Sheldon was in the shower, because he absolutely hated not showering after sex and Penny always wondered if maybe one day he'd be so flabbergasted by their sex that he'd just forget. (So far, the answer was no.)

His pants were neatly folded on the chair near her bed and Penny leaned over, plucking his Batman wallet from the back pocket. It made her grin, because, seriously, she'd seen this exact same wallet in the little boys section of Wal-mart.

Curiously prying it open, she pushed back a few neatly placed bills, then a Movie Gallery card, a Justice League of America card, and then Sheldon's bus pass, because the weirdo wouldn't get a driver's license.

Penny pulled out the bus pass and grinned at Sheldon's picture. No doubt he would be upset with her giggling at it, but he just had the weirdest expression on his face. Not that he didn't always have a weird expression on his face. It was peculiar.

Her eyes flitted down the card and then widened considerably. Down below Sheldon's picture was his name, address, and birth date.

His birthday was today.

Twenty minutes later, Sheldon emerged from the shower, looking considerably happier as he hummed contentedly. Penny had already replaced his wallet, but when she spotted him, she leaned back in the bed and smiled.

"So why didn't you tell anyone it was your birthday?"

Sheldon froze. One hand in the towel drying his short hair, his expression slowly dropped from content to rather morose. Finally, after several blinks and quiet noises, he folded the towel and set it aside.

"I do not celebrate my birthday."

Penny raised a brow. "What, really? Why not? That's ridiculous! Everyone should celebrate their birthday, Sheldon."

"I haven't celebrated my birthday once since I was eighteen years old," Sheldon said stiffly, and Penny frowned when he didn't sit down on the bed. He was wearing his house robe, the one he always brought over with him, but she assumed he was wearing nothing underneath it. Penny was lying in the bed, still naked but covered by her floral bedspread.

Her heart tore at his expression. It was positively crestfallen, and almost .. Angry.

"Why?" Penny asked softly.

Sheldon stood at her window, which looked out over the busy street below. For a long moment, he did not speak. And then he turned to face her.

"Penny, I graduated from high school at eleven. I graduated from college at fourteen, and I received two PhD's and one masters by the time I was seventeen." He didn't move from his spot beside the oddly bright window. It was late, but there were still so many things going on outside.

But Penny didn't notice. Instead, she slowly nodded. She knew all of this already. So why..?

"When I turned eighteen, Penny, I realized that my life as I had known it had come to an end. Not in a physical manner, of course, but .. in the intellectual sense. All I did from there on out was .. Ordinary."

The last word was soft.

"I was eighteen. I was an adult, and I was no longer a boy genius with the world at his feet. Anything I did or anything I discovered from then on, it was only a normal discovery from a normal scientist. I wasn't what I used to be." He wasn't looking at her now, but instead had knotted his hands inside his bath robe.

"The terribly unfortunate thing about being a young genius, Penny, is that it is only rare for a little while. And then.. By the time that most people are discovering themselves, you're already washed up. By eighteen, you've gone from extraordinary to simple."

Penny stood up and moved across the room, the blanket draped around her shoulders, her green eyes alert to his words. Sheldon finally met her gaze.

"Penny, I don't celebrate my birthday because it reminds me I am one more year past my prime of intellectual greatness," said Sheldon, and his voice grew even more quiet, more ashamed.

"I am so far behind the scenes that no one can even see me anymore," he said.

Penny listened carefully before stepping forward. Untying his robe, she slipped her arms into it and curled them around his bare torso. Her cheek pressed against his chest in an intimate gesture they'd never really shared, even during or after sex.

"I can see you, Sheldon."

Sheldon's blue eyes crinkled in earnest surprise as he looked down at her, the little blonde head just under his chin. Then, slowly, his wrapped his covered arms around her and pressed her closer to his bare, air-chilled skin.

"I know, Penny," he admitted quietly.

Xxx

The really unfortunate thing about mediators was that, sometimes, something can only be said right once, and the rest of the time it's just a jumbled up, macabre mess of what was originally said. Like that game kids play, where one whispers something and then they all go around the circle, whispering just once to the other person, until in the end "I like cookies" becomes "Irate Wookies," and the meaning is totally lost.

That was how Sheldon felt when his sister called, wanting to talk to him about something God awful he knew, because she always used "Shelly" when she wanted to tell him something he didn't want to hear. That usually included her voice in general, so he heard "Shelly" quite a lot.

"So, bro, what's goin' on in the romance department? Got any girls?"

"I think you very well know the answer to that," Sheldon said darkly into the phone. He was standing in his room, carefully dusting his action figures. "I have all the romantic experience of a neutered cat."

"Gross. Well, anyway, I was just wonderin'. I mean, Mama's startin' to get worried she's never getting' grand-kids, you know."

"So procreate. With someone unrelated to you, if you can manage such a feat."

"Aw, Shelly, come on. Why're you bein' such a hard-ass about everything? I talked to Leonard the other day on that e-mail thing and he said you've been gone a whole lot lately. You SURE you ain't got a girlfriend?"

Sheldon paused, briefly afraid that Leonard had caught on to him. He cleared his throat a little. "What exactly did Leonard say?" he asked, pausing in his dusting. His sister grinned a little from her side of the phone.

"Oh, just that you been actin' strange lately. Stranger than usual, I mean. Come on, Sheldon, who else are you gonna talk to 'cept for me? It hurts my feelings that you'd leave me outta the loop. I mean, we're twins!"

"Your point?"

"You know damn well my point, Shelly, now spill. Who is it?"

Sheldon paused, then shifted in his spot. "I am not in a romantic relationship. I am simply committing the act of coitus with Penny in order to satiate physical desires that I cannot otherwise dispel."

"Penny? Really? Wow. Sounds like a romantic relationship to me."

"I assure you," Sheldon said with clenched teeth, "it is not. We agreed at the very beginning that such a thing would remain entirely platonic."

Sheldon's sister was briefly quiet, and then -

"So you still are? Platonic, I mean?"

Sheldon was long quiet, and then -

"Of course."

"What if she wasn't?"

"Wasn't what?"

"What if she was feelin' all - romantic and lovey and stuff for you?"

Sheldon made a derisive noise. "Penny has had a remarkable number of suitors in the past two years alone. If she were unable to perform sexual intercourse with _me _without becoming emotionally attached, she has very little hope for the future."

His sister was quiet again. "So you really feel nothing' for her?"

Sheldon scowled quietly. "I feel _nothing _for her. May I go? Battlestar Galactica is on."

And so they hung up. Approximately three minutes later, Penny picked up her phone, anxious when she saw who the caller was. It was so elementary school, as Sheldon had said - or something like that.

"Did you find out anything?"

A soft sigh from the other end. "It doesn't look good, girlfriend. If he won't admit it to me.. I dunno if I can honestly say that's what he's thinking."

"You really think he was being honest? He's.. really .. Nothing?"

"Yeah," Sheldon's sister said softly.

And that was that.

Xxx

So that's it, Penny thought. If he'd felt anything for me, he'd have no reason not to tell his sister. She doesn't even live here, Penny thought viciously, she's all the way in Texas. He would have told her.

If it was true. And so it wasn't.

Xxx

Sheldon sat down on his bed and glanced at his phone before closing it and setting it on his bedside table. He saw that, somewhere on his table, he had left one of her Penny Blossom's. In all honesty, it had been there since long before this .. Relationship .. And was instead from the time they'd spent hours making them together.

Picking it up and turning it over in his hands, his fingers traced the fake petals, the little glued on rhinestones, and then he tossed it aside onto the table once more with an annoyed look. Stupid, he thought derisively. Idiotic. Moronic. A waste of his time.

Penny Blossoms.

Penny blossoms.

Funny how a simple change of letter case can alter a whole sentence.

Xxx

It was two days later when Penny finally came to Sheldon's apartment. Or rather, she came to the door, started to knock, then hurried away, then hurried back, then ran away again before Sheldon opened the door and asked her just what in the name of Optimus Prime she was doing, bustling around his apartment and making so much noise with those weird sparkly flip-flops of hers?

Penny bit her lip. "Sorry, I was just - looking for Leonard. Is he home?"

Sheldon's expression was difficult to read. "No.. Leonard went to the grocery store."

"Oh," Penny said carefully, shifting her stance before she gestured a little. "Can I .. come in anyway?"

Sheldon raised a brow. "If you must," he said, stepping back and allowing her entry into the apartment. The two of them stood awkwardly for several moments before Penny finally spoke.

"Hey, Sheldon, look - I wanted to talk to you about - what your sister said."

Sheldon's expression was a mixture of horror and surprise. His sister had TOLD her? Had told Penny what he'd said? That traitorous - wench! Penny continued quickly.

"Look, I talked to her, and I just -"

"Penny, rest assured, no matter what my blasphemous sister may have informed you, I harbor absolutely no romantic feelings for you," said Sheldon, and Penny stared. It was hard enough to hear it from someone else, she thought vaguely, but straight from his mouth - Well, that was a little .. Heart-wrenching.

Sheldon was adamant though, and he seemed insistent on repeating it over and over and over again, as if she might not believe him, but by God, she did. She believed him alright, and she believed she'd been an idiot not to do so before.

"Well - Good," Penny said carefully, glancing up at him and forcing a little smile. She patted his shoulder. "I'd hate for this to get complicated," she said.

"As would I," Sheldon agreed.

"Because I - I'm going to start dating again. There's this guy at work -"

"Of course, of course -"

"And we're really hitting it off -"

"I'm certain you are doing splendidly -"

"I couldn't be with someone like you anyway," Penny said in a rushed, hurried voice. "I mean - You've seen the type of guys I date," and really, it was hurtful but anything was better than letting him know.

Sheldon, this time, only gave a slow nod. "Yes," he agreed once more. He'd seen those men. And he was not among them.

"Well - I have to - go, Sheldon."

"Good-bye, Penny."

And so she left.

Xxx

Sheldon watched the door closed and he stood there for a very long moment. What Penny had said was true, earnest, and - hurtful. He had only been trying to maintain his part of this social experiment, this social construct he had only just begun to fully understand.

He had wanted so badly to keep his end of the deal - to remain emotionally void - so as to keep up this degree of closeness with her. He wasn't even sure, to be honest, if he could ever maintain anything beyond it. As it was, though, he hated the idea of being without it.

Which was strange, because three months ago, he knew nothing about it at all.

And now

everything he knew about it had just walked out of the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I love reviews. So. Much. Seriously, you guys make my freaking day when you review! It just encourages me to write more, as if I didn't want to already. Sorry for the sad part in the last chapter, guys, but there's only rougher roads ahead, I'm afraid.

The song for this chapter - because really, it's what I listened to while writing it and it's rather beautiful - is called Prayer by Secret Garden. Youtube it, it's beautiful!

Also, yeah, this chapter is pretty short, for obvious reasons.

Xxx

"Sheldon, is something wrong?"

The taller man didn't look up from his computer. It seemed to his roommate that he had so rarely made eye contact in the past week that the only logical conclusion was an ocular defect he had yet to notice. That was what Leonard, a man hardly any more astute than his taller counterpart, had decided when Sheldon had been strangely quiet and despondent.

Sheldon, looking briefly frustrated at something on the screen of his laptop, gave a little, odd shriek and picked up his pack of ball-point pens, only to throw them on the floor right next to his desk and watch them roll out onto the wood floor. Leonard raised a brow. Yes.. Ocular defect or brain stem damage. One or the other.

"Uh, Sheldon.. Your pens are on the floor."

"I'm aware."

"Aren't you going to - you know, be all neurotic and pick them up? I mean, usually I'm way more on the - wild and crazy side, but, uh - someone could slip."

"Yes, well, I can imagine that anyone so foolish as to not notice seventeen black pens on the floor would deserve the head trauma or broken limbs they'd likely sustain from a fall. In fact, I think I shall leave them there in hopes such a thing does transpire, simply to prove my point."

He shoved away from his desk and stepped over the pens pointedly, going to the kitchen and getting himself a bottled water, and then moving past a very confused Leonard to grab his notebook.

"Shel -"

Thud.

Leonard bit his lip and shook his head a little before kneeling to help up his friend, who looked as though he couldn't figure out how in the hell he'd gotten on the floor in a matter of seconds, and why his black pen was poking him in the rectum.

"Sheldon, are you sure.."

"Yes, Leonard. I am sure." His voice nearly trembled.

"Alright.."

And then he left.

Xxx

"Can I get another Coke? This one has a .. a fly or something in it."

A sharp glare. "What, you don't like a little protein in your drink? Of course not," snapped Penny as she grabbed the glass from table 103 and marched back into the kitchen, much to the bewilderment of her table and the other two waitresses standing nearby.

"Penny, what's your deal? That woman's gonna report you to a manager for being like that."

Penny poured out the drink and shoved in some more ice. "Who cares," she intoned flatly, pouring more Coke in the glass before brushing past the other two and shoving the glass at the women, who looked startled.

"Do you have a problem, Ms. -" She peered at the nametag on Penny's Cheesecake Factory uniform, " - Penny?"

The blonde lifted both brows and placed her flat palms on the table, leaning close to the woman.

"Lady.. There isn't enough time in this world to explain my problems to you."

Then she straightened, ripped off her apron, and tossed it onto the table. Mr. Chekov, her manager, stared as she waved a hand at the hostess stand.

"And good riddance to all of you, because I _quit." _

And then she left.

Xxx

Two days later, Greg called again, and on the third ring, Penny picked up and answered tonelessly -

"What?"

"Uh, hey to you too. What's going on?"

Penny sighed and shifted on her couch - the same couch she and Sheldon had first kissed on, when all he'd said was -

Alright, then.

Because he was more than what he'd said, even though it was usually the other way around with him. Sheldon had a thing about change, she knew, but he himself was the most ever changing person she knew.

"Nothing, really. Just.. Kinda bummed, I guess."

"Oh." A pause, and then - "Well, you know what'll cheer you up?"

Penny's brows furrowed. He didn't even ASK what had happened!

"A keggar! Seriously, party at my house tonight, and I want you to be my special guest of honor. How does that sound? First round of shots dedicated to you!"

Penny rolled her eyes and peered at her toenails. They were pink and chipping.

"I dunno, Greg.."

"Aw, come on, when's the last time we hung out? I promise it'll make you feel better," said Greg, and Penny glanced at the door that led to the hallway, and immediately adjacent to the hallway where there was a living room, and immediately outside of that living room was Sheldon's bedroom.

A long pause.

"Alright, Greg…," she said softly. "But only for a little while."

She hung up, let her head fall back against the couch, and stared. Right. She felt better all ready.

Xxx

Sheldon opened up one of his comic books, certain it would improve his state of being. What had caused him this emotional turbulence was a matter of debate - one that, like solitaire, was a terribly lonely game because it had to be played alone.

Flipping open the pages, the first picture he spotted was of a bushy-haired red-head with electric green eyes and a little purple outfit.

_See, you could be Robin and I could be Starfire. They're so cute in the comics! _

Sheldon snapped the comic book shut and got up, placing it among his other ones on the shelf in his room. He stepped tensely out into his living room and paused at the sound of chatting and even some giggling outside of his door.

Subtle as a hand grenade, Sheldon ripped open the door and blinked at the sight of Penny, dressed in scanty clothes that she always reserved for those biosocial experiments with the neurochemical overlay that she called _dating, _quietly laughing away the attempts of a handsome blonde man kissing at her neck.

"Come on, we're gonna be la - Oh, hey there. Who's this?"

Penny glanced up when Greg pointed out Sheldon, who was standing in the frame of his door, wearing a The Flash t-shirt and a pair of checkered pants. Greg, on the other hand, had a dark blazer over a vintage t-shirt featuring the title of a band he'd never really listened to. Not to mention whiskered jeans he'd bought at American Eagle even though an identical pair was on sale at the JC Penny down the mall strip.

Sheldon met Penny's gaze briefly and then shifted some, extending his hand to Greg.

"Hello. I'm Penny's neighbor."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Greg."

A pause, in which neither of them said anything, and then Penny tugged on Greg's hand. "We should get to the party, Greg," she said, and the blonde man nodded. "Oh, yeah, course. Can't be wastin' time, can we?" he asked with a nefarious grin, and Sheldon looked anywhere but at them until Penny tugged on Greg one more time.

"Let's go.."

"Alright, babe. See you - uh, Penny's neighbor."

"Certainly," Sheldon said quietly in response, and he watched as Penny and The Man walked down the stairs, the female of the pair fighting every muscle in her body to avoid looking back.

And she didn't.

Xxx

The party was loud, thumping, and filled with people and alcohol. Normally, Penny seriously loved that combination, but tonight it was just an assault on every sense known to man and beast. Possibly because she hadn't been to a party in a while - she'd missed out on most of them in favor of staying home for a night with Sheldon - or maybe because she didn't want to be there at all, and she was doing this to force herself out of that lonely, God-forsaken apartment.

Still, she wasn't expecting her easily susceptibility to the alcohol, or the lure of forgetting everything about the past three months in one night of blissful ignorance. Finding her old friends and acquaintances right where she'd left them, Penny drank the night away.

And when she woke up the next morning, she was in bed with Greg.

Rolling over onto her side, away from the unclothed man, she scrunched up her face and absolutely cried, because this man wasn't Sheldon and it made her so terribly sad.

Xxx

All he wanted was for his internet to work.

Then he could play his game and forget about the real world. This was how he dealt with life, Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. He let himself fall into these fantasy worlds that were spurned through literature, television, and otherwise programmable life that didn't imitate anything other than a sad man's imagination.

But the internet wouldn't work, and Sheldon desperately searched the apartment for something, anything, to distract his mind. Because if he could find it, his obsessive compulsive mind wouldn't allow him to stray to anything else, and anything was better than what his mind was rolling over now, over and over and over and over again.

Anything, any book, t.v. show, anything would do and yet he couldn't find anything in this whole blasted apartment!

Finally, he sat down on his spot on the couch and cradled his short-haired head in his hands.

How could such a minuscule thing as this make him feel so terribly much? Perhaps she could carry on sexual relationships without becoming emotionally attached.

But he couldn't.

Xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Wow, this is awesome. XD Thanks so much for the reviews! They are wonderfulll. And now.. For the conclusion of Friends with Benefits!

Xxx

Sheldon remembered this one time, when he was but a lowly graduate student, and someone in the department - some motherly, older woman no doubt - decided to throw him a surprise thirteenth birthday party. Sheldon had walked into the Physics building with nothing on his mind but his latest project when a group full of people had jumped out, thrown up their arms, and gleefully shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" at what could only be described as ear-splitting decibels.

Sheldon was so horrified that he ran off, crying, until his mother came to pick him up. She held him and consoled him until he could look up at her face again, and when he did, he saw what he recognized even then as a remarkable amount of pity.

Sheldon didn't like surprises.

Xxx

Penny once walked into the kitchen from the backyard, swinging a Barbie doll by the hair in one hand and holding a popsicle in the other. Her parents hadn't noticed, which was probably why they continued to argue.

"… my daughter growing up to be some - bimbo, some ridiculous little tart that grows up with nothing to go on but her looks!"

"There's nothing wrong with anything that she does, Jim, she's a little girl!"

"She's eight years old, Kathy, pretty soon she's gonna have to learn to do something more useful with her time than - be a God damn cheerleader, for Christ's sakes."

"Like what, Jim? Like what?!"

"Send her to an academic camp! Teach her a skill! Do something with her other than fill her head with - flighty stories like those bull shit fairytales you read to her at night. No Prince Charming is going to come and sweep her off her feet, Kathy. This is the real world, the REAL world, and I won't have a stupid airhead with no future growing up in my house, you understand?"

The two of them glanced over quite suddenly at the little sob that elicited from their daughter. Penny glanced down at her Barbie doll and scrunched up her face, throwing it onto the floor before running back outside.

Penny didn't like the truth.

Xxx

"Greg, do you ever wonder what it would be like if you were born different? Like, even one tiny detail could alter your entire life. Like - what if I were born a brunette instead of a blonde?"

The man sitting on her couch, flipping through channels on her stolen cable, raised a brow.

"You sure wouldn't be as hot," he answered.

Penny dead-panned. "Gee, thanks. God, can't you think about something intellectual for like, ten seconds?"

"What does it matter, Penny? We're born like we are, into the lives we are, and it's all for a reason and a thing. You can't change it. So why bother thinking about it?"

Penny frowned and shifted on the couch.

"Some things you can change..," she murmured. Greg didn't look at her.

"Not the important stuff," he retorted.

Xxx

"Crafts? You're doing _crafts?" _

The guys stared at Sheldon, a trio of bewilderment. Sheldon didn't look up from the piece of curly-cut pink paper he was affixing on the scrapbook page in front of him.

"It's therapeutic," he answered, a little more sharply than necessary. And it was. Setting a smaller, similarly cut blue square inside the first pink one, he glued them together carefully and then placed a picture of Isaac Newton inside. It was his scrapbook of brilliant minds.

His own picture graced the cover.

"Riiight," Leonard said, raising a brow. "Well, we're about to go." A pause when Sheldon didn't respond. "Sheldon, it's Wednesday. Wednesday we go eat out at the Cheesecake Factory."

Sheldon placed a very careful lime green border around Newton's face.

"I'm not hungry," he answered without looking up.

Raj leaned over towards Howard. "Is he sick? I don't hear any sniffling or .. Bitching."

"Maybe he has brain cancer," Howard offered, and Leonard made a face. "Guys, that's terrible! Don't say things like that. He's just been.. Odd lately."

"Gentlemen, I am busy, not deaf. Please leave if you would like to continue your astounding theories on my current mental state."

The three guys shuffled out and Sheldon sat back in his seat, staring at the scrapbook. Even looking at Newton's face didn't cheer him up. It really should have, though. It'd worked a thousand times before.

Maybe it was the white lace he'd used to trim the page.

Xxx

One day passed. Then another. By the next Tuesday, Sheldon had filled up eight scrapbooks with various things, and even begun a decorative basket that would hold his carefully organized sock collection.

And though he had negated his routine for the last week and a half, he now found it impossible to ignore laundry night. It was Tuesday. Tuesday was laundry night.

So, setting his basket aside, Sheldon gathered his things and picked them up with a bit of a strain, making a mental note on the aside to cut down on his t-shirt collection. When he got downstairs to the laundry room, he saw the slim body of his neighbor leaned over the washer, shifting things around to make more room. He stopped at the door, his blue eyes widening marginally, and he turned to move and go back to his apartment when Penny spotted him and spoke.

"Hey Sheldon," she said quietly.

Sheldon twisted his neck a little bit in an effort to waste time, but he found when he spotted her, no personable or even intelligent remarks had come to mind.

"Hello," he said finally, because it was all he could think of to say. Bypassing her, he put his own things in the other washer and carefully picked through them to make sure all the colors were properly divided. He didn't look up, even when Penny folded her arms and stood in front of the dryer, hip leaned against the white metal.

"Sheldon, I.. I don't want things to be like this. I don't want them to be .. Weird. It's terrible."

"I do not know what you are talking about, Penny. Things are perfectly normal between us," Sheldon responded stiffly, and Penny bit her lip to try and push back tears at the sight and sound of his off-Standish behavior. She lowered her head for a moment before lifting it again as she took a step forward.

"Sheldon.. You know that's not true."

Penny didn't like the truth.

"Penny.. You create too many unknowns," he told her with a twist of his head once more.

Sheldon didn't like surprises.

Penny closed her eyes as Sheldon brushed past her, leaving his clothes to wash, despite the sign that warned all able-minded humans against doing so.

Xxx

Penny remembered this one time, one of the many things she recalled with a flutter of happiness and longing from these past three months, when Sheldon had come over simply to tell her she'd had a package delivered that day, and that he was deferring the contract she normally had to sign because it was something that benefited them both.

Penny raised a brow. "Something that benefits us both? I don't even remember ordering anything," she said, taking the box. Sheldon tried not to look too self-important or pleased with himself, but his face was honestly just permanently affixed that way.

"Well, technically it _wasn't _your package. Not when it arrived, anyway."

Penny gave a confused, somewhat wary little laugh and set the box aside on her table, ripping it open with a kitchen knife and then pulled back the flaps. A pause as she pushed the packing contents aside and then a slow grin. She dropped her head with a laugh and then reached in the box.

Purple fabric in her hands, and when she untwisted it, it fell out into the complete outfit of Starfire, the very same cartoon version she'd pointed out to Sheldon some weeks ago. Sheldon grinned a little and reached into the box hurriedly, pulling out a Robin costume.

"I ordered mine as well! See? Now we can go to Comic Con together."

"Aw, Sheldon! This is so great!" Throwing an arm around his neck, she kissed his cheek gleefully and examined the tall purple boots, coo'ing over the cute, racy little outfit that would make her into a hero. Sheldon flushed a little, but his pleased little smile remained.

Penny never got a chance to show him how she looked in it.

Xxx

"Sheldon, it's time to talk."

Leonard had cornered his roommate in the other's bedroom, just before Sheldon had planned on crawling into his bed. Sheldon looked up, aghast, and then deadpanned.

"Talk about what, Leonard? In case you haven't noticed, it's hardly the hour for discussion."

"Well, now is the time we're gonna do it. You've been.. Freaking out lately. I mean, different than usual. Like something's really.. Really.. Really.. Gotten to you."

Sheldon tried to move towards his bedroom door, but Leonard cut him off. He wasn't exactly threatening, not in that weird house robe of his, but he tried to be, and hell, it wasn't like skinny little Sheldon was going to be able to move him.

"Sit," Leonard said flatly, and Sheldon sat on the edge of his bed without hesitation. Hands curled in his lap, he studied the creases on the back of his knuckles, and Leonard paced.

"So .. Just. Tell me. What is it? Does it have to do with Penny, because she's been avoiding this apartment like the plague."

Silence.

"Sheldon, tell me or I'm taking my Bat-Clock back."

Silence. Leonard sighed. Wow, this must be bad. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of Sheldon, tilting his head.

"Sheldon.. I'm your best friend. You can tell me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's .. shameful. And undignified. And -.." His voice quivered a little and he stopped, before taking an uncertain breath.

"Leonard, I messed up.."

Leonard raised both brows high and leaned forward. "Well, I bet I'm never gonna hear those words out of your mouth again."

Sheldon pursed his lips and said nothing, and Leonard sighed. "Okay, okay. How did you mess up, Sheldon?"

Sheldon continued to study his hands, but finally, he said -

"Leonard, I.. I slept with Penny."

And Leonard fell right out of his chair.

Xxx

Penny slipped her hands inside her light, tan jacket and pressed her heels into the dirt to slow herself on the swing. It was so cliché, she thought with a little, sad smile, to sit and think about life while on a swing. It was cliché for a reason, though.

It worked.

Tilting back her head, Penny closed her eyes and pushed herself off again. It was such a wonderful, crisp day, and when she closed her eyes she could almost imagine being back in Nebraska, on the swingset in the backyard where her daddy used to push her - any of those days when he wasn't ashamed of her, or at least didn't plan on letting her know it.

Her hair dragged the dirt, but she didn't care. All she wanted to do was jump off this swing and never land.

Xxx

By the time Penny got back to the apartment complex, it had started to rain. She hurried inside, trying unsuccessfully to shield herself from the onslaught. When she reached her apartment, though, she found that the door was unlocked. A little alarmed, she wondered if she should go in. It could be a burglar.

She glanced at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, but really, what were they going to do? Attack him with a light saber? She could fend for herself better than either of them could.

Slowly, she pressed open the door, spotting a little bit of her apartment at a time.

Her table was in place. Her magazines were stacked on the ground. Her lights were on.

And there was a man sitting on her couch, perched on the arm, with his legs dangling off the front and his hands knotted in his lap. It was.. Robin, Boy Wonder?

Penny's eyes widened as she slowly straightened, her hand falling off the door knob as she took in the man who finally met her gaze with his own.

"Hello," said Sheldon, from where he was sitting on the couch, wearing his full costume, mask and all.

Penny parted her lips to speak, but Sheldon stood, his cape billowing a little bit. He took in a sharp breath, and then -

"Penny, I .. I.. know.. What you .. Spoke of. Pertaining to our relationship and .. The sort of men you would normally carry one on with. And I am aware, also, that our .. Pre-existing agreement specified that we would not become.. Emotionally entangled."

Penny stepped a little closer, dropping her bag numbly onto the floor.

Sheldon fisted his cape. "But.. In light of - what I have recently begun to ponder on, and thusly discover about my own .. State of being.. I have .. Come to conclude that - perhaps, with certain variables in place -"

"Sheldon!"

He looked up at her, utterly terrified. Penny stared at him, completely baffled. "Just.. Say it. Whatever it is, Sheldon, just.. Say it."

Sheldon swallowed and stepped forward, and now they stood directly in front of each other.

"Penny, I.. I want to be.. In one of those socially obligatory constructs based on monogamy and the pursuit of physical and emotional gratification with a loved one."

Penny's lips parted more. "Sheldon, are you saying you're -"

" - in.. a desperate.. Wholly undignified and terribly cliché but entirely true state of being in which I am required, based on my own self-observation, to inform you that I -"

He looked at her, and his rambling subsided.

".. in which I believe I .. I love you, Penny."

He extended a hand. It was her purple Starfire outfit. Penny stared in shock, her green eyes clouding with tears that Sheldon was certain shouldn't be there. Oh, Newton, he'd made her cry.

"Penny.. I understand if you - .. Do n.. not accept -"

"Oh, Sheldon, just shut up!" Penny grabbed the purple costume and used it to pull Sheldon forward. Her fingers found his mask and pushed it up over his head as her lips crashed into his, and Sheldon even stumbled back a little bit, both from the force and from his own surprise.

Finally, he curled his arms around her and pulled her close, his hands going up and finding her long locks with gloved fingers.

"Sheldon.." Penny murmured, reaching up her hands and driving them through his hair. "Sheldon, I'm so sorry I was so mean, and I ignored you, and -"

"Penny, it's alright.."

"No, it's not!" All in between kisses. She was dampening his cheeks with her tears. "I was horrible -"

"And so was I."

"And God, I swear, I.." A pause as she pulled far enough away to look at him, his face cradled in her hands. "It's the weirdest thing ever, Sheldon, but I really love you too and the thought of being without you is just, like, the .. Worst thing I can imagine."

Sheldon leaned against the couch again and Penny buried her face in his neck as he absorbed those words.

"Penny.." he said softly, curling his fingers in her hair and pressing another kiss to her skin, which felt like second nature to him. It felt like the world.

"Sheldon.. You're my hero," she said in a trembling voice, and Sheldon gave a somewhat undignified, teary laugh in reply.

"You're mine, too, Penny.."

Xxx

**Epilogue: **

Xxx

"Oh my GOD, Sheldon, hurry up!"

"Would you wait one blasted minute? The tights are riding up!"

Leonard, Howard, and Raj all made disgusted faces, but Penny grinned. Leaning over, she called down the hallway -

"Want me to help you out, sweetie?"

Three loud groans. "Come on, guys, it's a costume party, not a - freak fest!" Raj objected, and Penny laughed, looking up when Sheldon re-emerged in his Robin costume. It was the first time he'd seen her in her Starfire one, though, and he stopped, balking at the sight of her.

Giving a little grin, Penny twirled and showed off the little purple skirt and high boots.

"Ready to go, Moonpie?"

Sheldon made a face and stepped out into the living room, taking Penny's purple-gloved arm.

"I am," he said pompously, and Penny waited for the rest of the guys to go out of the apartment before she stopped and pulled Sheldon back by his cape. He peered at her, confused, because hadn't the other guys already gone out and -

Ohh.

Penny pulled his lips away from his slowly and gave him a smile. Sheldon even managed his own smile, which was becoming more and more ever present on his features.

"Don't be looking at all those other super hero girls in there, kay?" she teased, and Sheldon rolled his eyes a little.

"I'll try to keep that in mind," he said dryly.

Penny grinned and kissed him again, and this time he slipped his arms around her and pulled her close. They shared a smile between them and then Sheldon reached over and picked up his keys.

He gestured for her to go first, which she did, and then he followed after her.

And that was all he ever wanted to do.

Xxx


End file.
